Have you heard these words during your life or have you said them to your child? I have heard these words at times in my life. They can be painful words to hear. They create feeling that there is something wrong with you. The word,“too”, definitely adds a tone of judgement. Yes, I’m very sensitive. Being sensitive has made my life more challenging and difficult, but it also has enriched it profoundly and deepened my relationships with others and myself. When I was young, I didn’t like my sensitivity because the adults around me didn’t know how to support me. I have learned as an adult to appreciate and value my sensitivity and to support myself in a world that can be very intense at times.
All children are sensitive, but 15-20% of children are highly sensitive. Many of these children find the world an overwhelming and challenging place. Highly sensitive children perceive, feel, and process sensations and feelings more intensely than children who don’t have a heightened sensitivity. Because they have heightened sensitivity, intense experiences and environments can overwhelm the nervous systems of highly sensitive children. This can lead to emotional meltdowns and to being scared and hesitant to try to new things. Sensitivity is a form of intelligence and can be a tremendous gift for children if they receive the support that they need. Here are the characteristics of highly sensitive children.
- Is a perfectionist
- Doesn’t like scratchy clothing or labels against the skin
- Often very cautious with new experiences
- Startles easy
- Worries a lot
- Prefers quiet play and just a few, select friends
- Works very hard, diligent to a fault
- May be less independent than other children
- Dislikes staying aware from home
- Complains of stomach aches and headaches
- May be physically awkward or tense
- Is very sensitive to pain
- Is bothered by noisy places
- Is sensitive to discipline or criticism
- Very insightful, intuitive
- Very aware of the feelings and distress of others
- Wants to please others
- Is hard to get to sleep after an exciting day
- Asks a lot of questions
- Notices the slightest unusual odor
- A lot of changes can be challenging
- Difficult to perform when strangers are watching
Highly sensitive children can be very caring, empathetic, intelligent,intuitive, perceptive, and loving, and they display characteristics connected to a high social and emotional intelligence. Being highly sensitive is a strength.
Along with all the gifts that highly children display, they also can require more support, guidance, and patience. Parenting a highly sensitive child can be draining and frustrating. It definitely necessitates an expanded repertoire of skills and knowledge in order to meet the challenges and frustrations with a sense of calmness and direction. There are so many things from the tightness of clothes to the flavor of food to the intensity of energy in a room that can irritate or cause a negative reaction in a highly sensitive child.
I grew up as highly sensitive and have a gained a lot of wisdom over the years. I will be doing a presentation this Thursday, Feb. 17, in Louisville, Colorado, to share what I learned, what the characteristics of highly sensitive children are, and how to support and guide them to meet life’s challenges and to grow to their fullest potential.
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